So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
that may or may not have been my penis.
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