her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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