you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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