Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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