Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize