you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize