Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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