im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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