well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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