evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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