my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize