Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize