i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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