I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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