Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize