we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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