They should really pass out barf bags in church
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize