____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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