Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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