you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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