Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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