And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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