I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
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Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
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I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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