Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I think I died a long time ago.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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