Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
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Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
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You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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