Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
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She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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