Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I don't deserve a penis
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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