Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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