Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
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Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize