I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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