You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize