I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
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His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
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I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
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