i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
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That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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