I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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