I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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