belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
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I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
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MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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