Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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