i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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