I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize