She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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