why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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