you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
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I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
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I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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