she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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