That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize