forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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