Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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