Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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