Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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