"it" just moved
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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