I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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