Non-Jews are for practice
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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