I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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